


The Future Starts Slow

by frihed_liberty



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2017 Phan, Ageplay, Anal, Angst, Blowjobs, Comfort, Daddy Kink, Dd/lb, Dirty Talk, First Time, Fluff, Grinding, Little Space, M/M, Phil's POV, Reality, Smut, dom!Phil, innocent and not, little!Dan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-26
Updated: 2017-02-26
Packaged: 2018-09-27 02:56:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9948764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frihed_liberty/pseuds/frihed_liberty
Summary: Dan is acting strange and Phil wants to know why. But then he sees something that can’t be unseen and things will never be the same again…





	

**Author's Note:**

> Please take note of the tags!  
> This is a Little Space fanfic and contains Smut. Consider yourself warned. Enjoy!

Dan had been acting strange. He’d been unusually absent and withdrawn from Phil for just over a week now and Phil was very confused. Had Phil done something to make Dan avoid him? He didn’t think so. He couldn’t think of a single thing he’d done that could have caused such a severe withdrawal. And Dan didn’t seem mad anyway. When he occasionally did come out from hiding in his room he’d be quiet and distant but he wouldn’t snap at Phil or act sarcastic at all.

It didn’t make sense. Normally when Dan was glum and pondering his existence he would withdraw a bit, sure, but he’d be much more vocal and obvious about his despair and emptiness.

This was different. Phil was starting to wonder if Dan was actually depressed again. Not just a gloomy spell, but proper depressed. Dan had had problems with depression over the years and had (unbeknownst to anyone but Phil) actually tried to kill himself once back when he was still at University. Dan might joke about existential crises a lot but there was no denying that he was a person with a very complex and quite frail psyche. Phil had spent many, many hours over the years reassuring Dan; building up Dan. And he wasn’t about to leave him on his own now. He decided it was time to confront Dan about this and get him to talk about it, maybe get help.

\--

Phil had knocked on Dan’s bedroom door several times throughout the day but with no reply at all. Dan didn’t even bother to answer, he just entirely ignored Phil’s attempt at communication and didn’t leave his room other than for one silent bathroom visit. After having dinner alone without Dan joining him Phil finally grew worried and annoyed enough to try again and this time he wasn’t going to knock. He’d kick the door in if he had to!

Luckily it didn’t come to that, the door slid open smoothly and silently as he tested the door handle. The room was dimly lit and the curtains drawn. Phil had time to note that the room smelled a bit musky and closed in before his eyes fell on Dan’s bed. He actually squeaked in surprise as his eyes caught sight of Dan asleep in his Totoro onesie, huddled up in a soft looking baby blue blanket with clouds on, tightly clutching the glowing unicorn plushie from the Pastel video and gently sucking on a light green pacifier. Phil was dumbstruck.

Dan had always had a tendency to sometimes enjoy feeling small and soft and warm. He liked to occasionally wear onesies and cuddle up with a blanket and watch Winnie the Pooh or Steven Universe or some other soft show. He had times where he would whine until he got his way or where he would be cute and coy and speak in a slightly lighter and more childish voice to get what he wanted. It was just part of him and Phil was used to that but never really thought about it. It was just one of Dan Howell’s many personalities.

But this? This was a whole other league.

Phil quickly backed out of Dan’s bedroom breathing heavily and silently closed the door behind him. He’d almost made it to the safety of his own room when it occurred to him that running away wasn’t the solution. Dan was already running away and if Phil did too, then how were they ever going to make things better? Phil missed his friend and if this… this, whatever it was, was what was making Dan hide, then they needed to talk about it. Phil took a deep breath, and then another and steeled himself as he turned back towards Dan’s door. _You can do this, Phil. For Dan._

Once inside Dan’s room again Phil silently watched Dan sleep. He watched the way he contentedly suckled on his pacifier all bundled up in the soft baby blanket. Dan looked calmer and much more at ease than he had in a long time. He looked soft and the way his hair stood up in all directions was adorable. Dan quietly babbled in his sleep and nuzzled further into his cocoon and Phil couldn’t stop looking.

Finally Phil cleared his throat.

“Dan?” No response.

“Dan?” he repeated this time in a louder voice but Dan only shifted a bit and settled back into his slumber.

Phil slowly, hesitantly, moved closer to the bed and warily put his hand to Dan’s shoulder shaking him slightly. The thin fabric of his oversized onesie felt soft and Dan was radiating sleepy heat.

“Dan?” He tried again. Dan mewled and tossed a bit, the pacifier falling from his mouth. His eyes shot open and he sat up with wide eyes.

“Phil?!” he croaked, “What are you doing here? Get out!” His face was simultaneously draining from colour and reddening in places and he looked overwhelmed with signs of shock, fear and anger on his features. Phil was momentarily frozen in silence.

“Phil fuck off!” yelled Dan, now scrambling to get out of his nest of blankets. Although Dan was clearly lashing out it was obvious to Phil that he was on the verge of tears. Just as Dan got into a standing position and started pushing Phil physically backwards Phil remembered how to talk. He grabbed Dan’s wrists to stop him from shoving him any further away.

“Dan! Dan, listen to me. We need to talk about this. I don’t want you to think you can’t talk to me about this. I don’t… Like, I… It’s fine Dan, I’m not gonna judge you. I just want to try to underst-“

“No!” Dan cut him off and ripped his hands free from Phil’s grasp “I. Do. Not. Want. To. Talk. About. It. Get out!” he punctuated each word with a harsh shove at Phil’s chest and finally managed to push him out of his room.

“But Dan, I just want to help you, I-“ his sentence was cut short as Dan banged the door shut in Phil’s face and made an obvious show out of locking it loudly.

_-miss you…_

Phil sighed and returned to his own room. He wasn’t sure how he was going to fix this but he knew he’d find a way. No matter what Dan had said Phil would make sure they talked about this. And soon.

\--

The next morning when Dan snuck downstairs to use the bathroom and then went in search of some food in the kitchen Phil was ready. He’d gone on Google last night after he was kicked out of Dan’s room and had looked up Dan’s “symptoms”. He’d not found an abundance of information, but what he did find didn’t seem unreasonable. That some people had a need to regress to a childlike state sometimes in order to relax or express some part of themselves, was something Phil himself couldn’t really relate to but he didn’t think it was weird either. Especially as he read about people in relationships where a caretaker would take care of their ‘little’ when they regressed and make sure they were safe and happy. Phil honestly found it kind of sweet and endearing, he could understand how someone could enjoy that dynamic. So when his mind started suggesting that what Dan really needed was a caretaker, a daddy, someone to make sure he felt comfortable and content, Phil felt like that was something he was prepared to do for his friend. Dan was the most important person in his life, and there really weren’t a lot of things Phil wouldn’t be willing to do for him.

He cornered Dan in the kitchen making sure to swing the glass door shut behind him so Dan couldn’t escape too easily. Dan looked at the floor and tried unsuccessfully to shuffle past Phil.

“Dan, please listen to me,” Phil reached out a hand towards Dan but stopped before touching him and let his hand fall. He didn’t want to make Dan feel threatened or accosted more than he already was. “Please let’s talk about this. Please let me help you?” He tried to catch Dan’s eyes but was unsuccessful. Dan stared determinedly at his own feet, fidgeting with the sleeve of his jumper and said nothing. The silence stretched out.

“I’m listening” Dan finally broke the silence and he somehow managed to sound both curt and hesitant at the same time.

“Alright. Just, I need you to know I’m here for you, okay?” No reply. “And that I… Just whatever you need, I can help you. And it’s okay if you’re a ‘little’ or whatever, that you need to be small. I…” Phil trailed off unsure of how to say this. He shifted his weight from one foot to another awkwardly and took a determined breath.

“Do you need me to be, like, your caretaker? I’d like to take care of you if you want?” Dan continued the silence but he ceased fidgeting and was now stood frozen to the spot. Rigid.

Suddenly Dan’s face snapped up and he scowled at Phil his eyes burning with emotion. “Phil seriously, back the fuck off! I’m not a… I’m not that thing! You don’t understand! Just leave me alone.” He violently pushed past Phil and out of the kitchen, the glass door hitting the wall with a heart-stopping clatter.

Phil stood unmoving feeling helpless. Why wouldn’t Dan just let him help? Or if Phil had somehow misunderstood, why didn’t Dan just explain and set him straight. But Phil knew he hadn’t gotten it wrong, and that was exactly why Dan was lashing out so fiercely. He was obviously scared; uncomfortable in his own skin. But Phil was honestly stuck for ideas of how to proceed.

\--

Two days passed with hardly a word between the two men and frankly Phil was going insane. He was fluctuating between feeling worry for Dan and intense resentment at the injustice of essentially losing his best friend. Why couldn’t Dan just tell him what to do to make it better? They had meant to film a gaming video this week but it was impossible to get Dan to do anything at all, he wasn’t even going on twitter and Phil had had to do his best to cover for him, even going as far as to tell people that Dan had the flu. Frustrated with everything Phil put all his energy into filming and editing a video for his own channel trying desperately to just pretend that things were normal. But every time he paused his work for more than a second thoughts would assault him and he’d just feel so bone-crushingly lonely and destitute.

\--

At two in the night Phil was still in the office putting his final touches on the video. It was not his best work but it would have to do. After all, someone had to upload something; they couldn’t both disappear and hibernate in self-pity like Dan did. _God, Phil was frustrated!_

“Phil?” the sound of Dan’s voice was meek and so low that Phil almost missed it. He didn’t though, and his eyes immediately snapped to Dan standing curled into himself in the doorway. He was wearing a onesie Phil hadn’t seen before, it was very oversized and had little multi coloured animals all over a white base. His feet were clad in soft booties shaped as cute pandas and he was holding his pastel green pacifier in one hand and his baby blanket in the other. He looked very small and sheepish.

“Yes?” asked Phil hesitantly. He had no idea what to expect from Dan right now and even though part of him was celebrating loudly at just seeing Dan and having Dan actually speak to him, another part was trying to keep him from getting his hopes up. He was bound to get disappointed with the way Dan was acting lately. But to Phil’s surprise Dan didn’t snap or act out, he spoke calmly but in a very quiet, almost timid voice.

“Phil. I’m really sorry I was bad. I didn’t mean to be bad.” Dan looked from Phil and to the floor shuffling his Panda-clad foot around. Phil did not miss the fact that Dan’s words were more childish than usual, even pronounced in a childlike manner. Phil stayed quiet waiting for Dan to continue. He immediately regretted this decision as Dan burst into tears sobbing uncontrollably.

“Phiiiil,” he wailed and sniffled loudly, tears streaming down his puffy cheeks “I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry I was bad. I won’t be bad anymore, I promise.” He was not pronouncing the words correctly but rather like a small child.

Phil was taken aback. It was sort of breaking his heart to see Dan crying so unabashed like this but at the same time his heart soared at the fact that Dan was finally opening up and letting Phil see him in this vulnerable state. He was clearly very deep into his ‘little space’ right now.

“It’s okay Dan. I understand, okay?” Phil soothed. “Just try to calm down and tell me what you want me to do.” He reached out and took the hand Dan was holding the blanket with in his. He fixed his gaze directly on Dan’s wet, swollen eyes and continued. “Can you do that for me Love?”

Dan nodded slowly. He’d thankfully stopped wailing but he was still hiccupping pitifully from time to time. Phil squeezed his hand in what he hoped would be an encouraging way.

“Will you be my Daddy?” asked Dan. His voice was so small and frail and he looked so frightened and tiny that Phil almost had to look away. He didn’t though, instead he hurriedly answered before Dan could panic.

“Of course I will.” He stroked his thumb soothingly over Dan’s soft hand trying to think quickly. What did Dan want? What did he need? “Do you need Daddy to tuck you in?” he asked hesitantly.

Dan nodded, still cautiously.

“Okay. Alright. Do you want Daddy to carry you down to bed? You want a piggy back ride?”

This time Dan nodded a lot more eagerly a small careful smile forming on his soft face. Phil had felt a little awkward calling himself Daddy like that but when he saw Dan’s shy smile he just felt elation. It was such a relief to see Dan smile again, it had been so long. Too long.

He tentatively walked towards Dan, still scared that he might somehow ruin everything and Dan would blow up and leave. He tenderly took Dan into his arms and embraced him, running his hand calmingly through his wavy hair.

“Don’t worry baby, Daddy’s got you now.” Then he untangled himself from the embrace and turned his back to Dan. “Go on Love. Jump aboard.” Dan hesitated and then leaped unto Phil’s back. Phil stumbled for a moment trying to find his new centre of gravity. Little or not, Dan was a tall heavy man and Phil wasn’t exactly a body builder, but he wasn’t going to let that stop him from taking good care of his sweet Baby boy. The thought startled him for a moment. His _sweet Baby boy._ How come he’d become so comfortable with all this so quick? So possessive? He wasn’t sure and it was sort of frightening, but this was not the time to mull it over, right now the only thing that mattered was making sure Dan felt good and safe and loved.

With a lot of effort on Phil’s part they made it down the stairs and down the hall. Once outside their bedroom doors Phil asked,

“Do you wanna sleep in your own bed or with Daddy?” Phil was vaguely surprised to hear himself ask that, but something about the warm weight clinging on so desperately to his back made him feel like he didn’t want to let Dan out of his sight ever again. He felt a fierce _need_ to make Dan feel safe.

“With Daddy please.” Dan answered politely and it made Phil smile. He hitched Dan up a little to make sure he wouldn’t slide off his back and carried him into the bright bedroom. He pushed the duvet aside and carefully let Dan fall to the mattress. He then gently took Dan’s baby blanket and draped it over his torso and followed it with the duvet. He tugged it tightly around Dan’s form making sure he was snuggly encased like a burrito. Then he grabbed Dan’s pacifier still in his hand and put it in Dan’s mouth. But Dan was not having any of that. He immediately spat it out and let out an annoyed whiny sound.

“Nooo Daddy! Not the Dummy! I want ma’ bottle.” Dan begged and Phil was confused.

“But I don’t have a bottle. I mean, Daddy hasn’t got a bottle.”

“In ma’ room”

“Oh! Okay. Wait here for Daddy, Baby. I’ll be right back” he made to leave but suddenly turned back towards Dan, “What does my pretty Baby boy want to drink?” While Dan thought about his answer Phil had time to do some thinking of his own and started freaking out about just how natural this whole thing was coming to him. It was like he’d been a Daddy in another life and he just slipped right into the role. The sense of peace and happiness it gave him to take care of Dan like this, especially after the last week and a half of suffering and uncertainty, was frankly astounding. This in turn made him feel uncomfortable. Should he really be enjoying this this much?

“Ribena” said Dan finally with a coy little smile. Phil considered telling him that he could have milk because the sugary drink wasn’t good for his teeth, but then he smiled to himself and decided that today he could definitely make an exception. Today he just wanted to see Dan smile again no matter what.

\--

Once Dan was all tucked in suckling contentedly on his bottle Phil quickly changed into his pyjamas. He ignored his dental hygiene for the night as he simply didn’t want to leave Dan alone again right now. Then he crawled into the bed and under the duvet with Dan, settling against his side. It felt kind of weird snuggling up to Dan like this. It’s not that they never cuddled; they’d done that a lot especially in the past, and even had the odd mutual wank and drunken make-out session when they were younger. But somehow this, sharing a bed with little Dan, felt so much more intimate and important. It was like Dan was putting all his trust in Phil and letting him into his most secret inner world. It made Phil feel amazing and so very close to Dan.

“Good night Baby boy.” Phil mumbled as he gently stroked Dan’s fringe out of his eyes. “Don’t hesitate to wake Daddy if you need me in the night, okay?”

“Okay Daddy. Good night.” Dan’s words were muffled by the bottle in his mouth but Phil could still make out what he was saying. Dan yawned and sighed contentedly. After a while Phil thought Dan had drifted off to sleep but then he heard a quiet mumble,

“I love you Daddy”

“I love you too Baby boy” Phil whispered as he heard Dan’s breathing grow steady with sleep. Suddenly Phil was wide awake.

\--

The next morning Phil woke up first. There was a split-second of confusion before last night’s actions came back to him. He smiled sleepily to himself, remembering how good he’d been able to make Dan feel and how adorable Dan had been acting. During the night they’d shifted so Phil was currently spooning Dan a hand wrapped around Dan’s soft middle. Phil carefully lifted his head so he could gaze at Dan. Dan’s bottle had rolled out of his mouth during the night but he still looked relaxed and happy as he slept. Phil felt a surge of pride that he was the one who’d helped Dan find comfort. He was debating whether he should wake Dan or maybe go make them breakfast first when it was decided for him. Dan stretched and yawned, his eyes slowly cracking open. He felt warm and malleable to Phil’s touch.

“Good morning Baby boy” Phil whispered. He could very acutely feel the exact moment Dan froze, the softness suddenly gone and replaced with taught muscles and anxieties.

Phil didn’t know if he ought to remove his hand or perhaps just wait it out. Maybe Dan wouldn’t freak out; maybe he’d soon relax back into the bed again. But it was a short-lived hope as Dan almost immediately sprung out of the bed and ran out of the room. Phil hurried to get up and follow, he was not going to let Dan hide away again. They’d had a breakthrough yesterday and now when he knew how it could be, he never wanted to stop. Dan needed it. Needed him. Phil could feel it in every fibre of his being.

He followed Dan to the toilet and waited patiently outside the door. Sooner or later Dan would have to leave and he’d be there when he did. He was in no hurry except for the small issue of him actually needing the very toilet Dan was occupying right now. But that problem seemed small in comparison to his important mission of calming down Dan and reassuring him that everything was fine.

Eventually Dan did come out. He’d peeled off his onesie and was now in just grey boxers and a black t-shirt he must have been wearing under the onesie. He looked grim but Phil was not about to be scared off. He ignored his impatient bladder and blocked Dan’s way out of the small toilet room.

“Dan. I’m not letting you hide away again. We have to talk.” He said earnestly. Dan glared and shook his head no, but Phil could tell that he didn’t have much fight left in him today. Dan’s glower faded and was replaced by a resigned expression followed by a deep sigh.

“Fine,” Dan snapped “we’ll talk. But I’m going to grab some cereal first.” It was clear that it was not up to discussion but Phil needed to make sure Dan wasn’t going to try and wiggle out of this.

“Sure. Meet me in the lounge when you’ve eaten and we’ll talk then. Okay?”

“Okay” Dan muttered and tried to push past Phil, but Phil did not budge.

“Promise?” Phil demanded, knowing of Dan’s way with getting out of things if you left him even the slightest loophole. Dan sighed deeply again,

“Yes. For God’s sake Phil, I fucking promise!” he snapped and Phil decided to finally let him go.

\--

Twenty minutes later they were seated on the sofa in the lounge, Dan nervously fidgeting with the strings of the trackies he’d put on now and not looking at Phil. Phil instinctually reached out and grasped Dan’s restless fingers. Dan seemed to have calmed down enough not to object and Phil gave his hand a reassuring squeeze before starting their conversation. However, before he could say anything Dan spoke.

“I’m _so_ sorry Phil. I know that we… that we have to talk about this. And what you did-” his voice broke but he carried on after clearing his throat, “what you did yesterday it... I’m just so…” he trailed of and swore under his breath. “Fuck, Phil I’m just so fucking embarrassed. Why am I like this? What the fuck is wrong with me? And you… and you, you’re just so incredible and you did all these nice things even though I’m a fucking freak and you must hate me and God-” Dan was rambling now, everything being pushed out hurriedly in a desperate voice. “I said such embarrassing things! And you don’t deserve this. You must be so disgusted with me.” Dan wasn’t crying but his eyes were red-rimmed and glassy with embarrassment and frustration and possibly some gratitude. Phil squeezed Dan’s hand harder and started stroking it lightly with his thumb.

“Dan” Phil said firmly.

“Daniel. Look at me.” Phil waited patiently for Dan’s eyes to land on his and when they finally did he locked their gazes and continued. “I could never. Not ever. _At all_. Hate you or find you disgusting. Do you understand? There’s nothing wrong with you Dan. It’s not weird, and even if it was weird there’s still nothing wrong with it. You’re not harming anyone. You have absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about. There’s nothing wrong with you being a little sometimes.” Phil said vehemently, desperate to get his point across to Dan. Dan visibly cringed at the word little.

“But-”

“No buts Dan. You are not doing anything wrong!”

“But Phil, listen” Phil didn’t interrupt this time and Dan continued “Just cause I am a…” he squeezed his eyes tightly shut as if in pain, “a little doesn’t mean that… Well, Phil aren’t you disgusted with playing my Dadd- my caretaker? Why would you want to do that just because I’m… This way? Is it… Do you just pity me?” Phil was horrified. How could Dan think this way, didn’t he know that Phil…

“Dan I love you. You’re my best friend. You’re the most important person in my life and yes, I would do nearly everything for you, even painful or awful things. But trust me when I say, this is not one of those times, I… I honestly, truly enjoyed playing with you yesterday. It made me very happy.” Phil punctuated his statement with a fond smile and another tight squeeze to Dan’s hand. Dan was staring back at him expression caught in a limbo between absolute gratitude and distrust.

“Really?” he whispered and a tear actually spilled this time as he blinked to clear his vision.

“Really.” Phil confirmed resolutely. “Anytime you want to play, or _need_ to play, I’m here. You don’t even have to ask, just make me understand you’re in your little place and I’ll play with you. I _want_ to play with you.” A light went on in Dan’s eyes and Phil knew that he’d finally gotten through to him. He’d won the battle and hopefully it was going to be the last battle about this subject. Dan beamed at Phil and launched himself forward to hug him.

“Oh, you old softie.” Dan said sarcastically, slipping effortlessly back into his usual self. “Shut up about all those emotions you’ve got and let’s watch some anime. I’ll get popcorn.”

The rest of the morning (well, technically afternoon) they spend cuddling up on the sofa watching the TV and Phil was so incredibly grateful to have his best friend back. Little Dan did not come back out that day.

\--

A few days later everything had returned to normal. Dan was back on social media shit-posting and having sardonic bants with his fans once more and they’d finally had a chance to film and upload the next Sims video to the Gaming Channel. Their routine had pretty much gone back to normal and there’d been no trace of either little Dan or existential crisis Dan. That however changed that evening when Phil had just finished his liveshow. Only minutes after signing off he heard a loud cry from downstairs. He got up and ran down to the bathroom where Dan had recently gone to take a shower.

“Dan? Dan are you alright?” he called through the door. There was no answer so he quickly called out a warning and opened the door. On the floor of the bathroom sat a naked Dan, knees drawn up to his chest arms protectively encircling himself. He was shaking and whimpering and Phil immediately crouched down beside him, putting his hands on Dan’s arms. “Baby boy?” he asked uncertainly. 

“Daddy!” whined Dan and leaned into Phil’s touch. “Daddy I don’t know how to do it myself. I’m too little.” Phil smiled fondly and wrapped his arms tightly around the freezing boy.

“Don’t worry Baby Daddy’s here. Daddy’ll help you get clean.” He pulled a towel down from the rack and wrapped it around Dan’s shivering form. “Okay Baby, I’m just gonna run a bath for you. Do you want a bath bomb?” Dan nodded and Phil got to work preparing the bath. He gave Dan a choice between a blueberry cupcake bath bomb and a strawberry doughnut bath bomb with colourful sprinkles. Dan gleefully picked out the latter with a big heart-warming smile.  

“Daddy I love strawberry. Can I have strawberry ice-cream later? Pleasssee Daddy” Dan begged.

“I don’t know Danny. We don’t have any at home. But tell you what; if you’ll be a real good boy for Daddy I’ll get you some ice-cream in the store tomorrow.” Dan sulked in the most adorable way and Phil knew he was supposed to be firm, but his resolve melted and he immediately grasped for something to make Dan smile again. “What if I were to say that Daddy has a bag of lollipops hidden in his room and you can get to pick one after your bath if you’re a good boy? Would that do instead of ice-cream?” Dan hesitated but then broke into a huge beaming smile.

“Yes Daddy, yes!” he bounced up and down on the floor excitedly and Phil vaguely thought that it didn’t look too comfortable for his arse cheeks to be smacking against the cold tile.

Once the bathtub had filled Dan was allowed to put in the bath bomb himself. He hissed excitedly and clapped his hands happily as the bomb hit the surface of the water and started bubbling wildly. Phil couldn’t help but notice Dan’s naked body as he bounced eagerly on his heels and for a second an intense wave of arousal coursed through him until he saw Dan’s gleeful, childish giggle and the feeling was replaced with a sense of disgust. How could he be checking out Dan’s body when Dan was in his little space? What a sick thing to do!

“Daddy! Daddy you have to lift me in!” Phil snapped out of his self-hatred and smiled at the boy in front of him. He hooked an arm under Dan’s armpit and supported him while he assisted Dan to step into the tub. He then slowly helped him lower himself into the water. Dan gasped.

“Daddy it’s too hot!” He sprung back up out of the water and stood rubbing his pink bum forlornly. Again Phil felt a twinge of lust and firmly scolded himself in his mind. He turned on the cold tap and cooed at Dan,

“Awe, Precious Baby, Daddy didn’t think it’d be too warm. I’m making it better now, okay Baby?” Dan nodded but still looked displeased.

“Daddy my bottom’s sore. Will you rub it?” Phil paled. He really needed to get his mind out of the gutter. This was just wrong.

“Of course, Babyboy. Show Daddy where it hurts.” Phil said as he leant over to turn off the cold water. Dan bend a little forward and touched a finger to the mound of his bum and dragged it across both cheeks.

“It’s all over Daddy” Dan looked up through his dark brown lashes at Phil and a surge went through Phil’s whole body and he felt himself growing in his jeans. _Fuck! What’s wrong with me?_ Phil gingerly reached out his hand and massaged gently over Dan’s bum cheeks while desperately willing his erection to go away. Dan let out a small whimper and Phil panicked as the rush of desire hit him again. He removed his hand from Dan’s bum and quickly muttered,

“There Babyboy, all better. Let’s get you in the bath now.” Luckily Dan didn’t protest and Phil guided him into the liquid again.

It was torturous to wash over Dan’s whole body with the flannel and no matter how much Phil tried he couldn’t entirely quell the desire. It did help to distract him from his predicament that Dan was being so happy and precious. He was making little boat sounds and pretending that his sponge was a big ship and when Phil dug out their little rubber blowfish Dan went wild with glee. Phil vowed to get more toys for Dan as soon as he could, because that smile was worth everything to Phil. When it came time to wash Dan’s hair however all hell broke loose.

“No Daddy. No! I don’t wanna! Nooo!”

“What’s wrong Baby? Why don’t you want Daddy to wash your hair? Don’t you want to smell nice and fresh?” Dan sulked and looked at Phil with huge eyes.

“But Daddy it hurts! The soap gets in my eyes and then it hurts! Please don’t make me Daddy.” Whined Dan in such an earnest way that Phil could literally feel his own heart shattering.

“But Dan, Sweetheart, Daddy’ll make sure you won’t get soap in your eyes. I promise.”

“No! No Daddy! I won’t” Dan was no longer cutely pouting but his face had now instead twisted into a defiant grimace as he reached down and splashed Phil with water on purpose.

“Dan!” yelled Phil “Stop that right now! I mean it!” Dan immediately stopped splashing and sat entirely still just staring at Phil with a wobbling chin.

“Baby don’t cry. Daddy didn’t mean to make you sad but you were just being very naughty. Are you sorry you were naughty?” Dan nodded solemnly,

“Sorry Daddy. I love you.” And just like that all crossness Phil might have felt vanished instantly and Phil felt such a rush of happiness run through him that he almost wanted to jump right into the tub and hug Dan tight.

“I love you too. So much. Now, do you trust Daddy? I promise I won’t get soap in your eyes.”

“Okay Daddy, I trust you.”

“You’re such a good, brave boy” Phil praised while petting Dan’s cheek and Dan purred in satisfaction.

After the bath Phil dried Dan off and brushed his teeth for him and then he led him to his room. He helped Dan into his Tigger onesie and then he led him back out and into Phil’s room and allowed him to pick out two lollipops that he could eat tomorrow. Once Dan was tugged into bed with a bottle of warm milk Phil read him a story and brushed his hair with his fingers until Dan dozed off.

Then he very cautiously and silently slipped out of the room and down into the bathroom. He locked the door and leaned forward supporting himself with his left hand on the counter while grapping his cock with his other hand. He tried desperately to keep all thoughts of little Dan out of his mind as he roughly pulled himself to completion. He wasn’t however entirely successful and even though it was a relief to finally come it left him feeling even worse than he’d felt before. The guilt was killing him.

\--

As the next week and a half passed Dan became comfortable slipping into little space now and again. Sometimes he’d be very little and require a lot of help from Phil, but other times he’d just be a bit softer and more cuddly than usual. It made Phil wildly happy that Dan finally trusted him and he kept rewarding Dan with little toys and crayons and, at one point, a big Disney colouring book that had made Dan squeal in excitement. So what if he’s an indulgent caretaker. His small angel Daniel deserved everything. Phil was so proud and in love.

And even when Dan wasn’t in little space, when Dan was just regular Dan, things were still easier than they’d been before. Dan was more happy and relaxed. He was less uptight about his hair and wore more colours and just generally seemed more contend being in his own skin. He and Phil cuddled more and just generally got along really well. And rarely had they uploaded this many videos in such a short time. It was like this whole arrangement was giving them more energy and their on screen chemistry was stronger than it had been in a long time. Phil couldn’t be happier, except for that one little thing where he kept fantasising about fucking little Dan senseless. That was inconvenient and it really disturbed him.

\--

One morning they were sitting together at the dining table in the lounge. Phil was drinking a coffee while watching Dan happily colouring in a picture of Aladdin. Dan had woken up in little space and Phil loved it when he did that. There was nothing better than being woken up by a cute, cuddly Dan. Dan had been particularly rowdy this morning and had woken Phil by jumping onto him and bouncing up and down on top of him while demanding he get up. Phil had just pulled him back down and snuggled him close, kissing his soft cheeks a million times and tickled him until Dan had been squirming all over the place giggling wildly.

“Daddy I’m all done! Do you like my picture?” asked Dan with a concentrated frown directed at the page. Phil smiled widely and ruffled Dan’s curly head.

“I love it, Danny. It looks really nice with the pink trousers on Aladdin.” Dan beamed proudly.

“You can have it Daddy. For the fridge.” He then proceeded to pull out the drawing from the colouring book and wrote Daniel in big uneven letters in the corner of the page.

“Baby boy!” Phil gasped, “I can’t believe you can write your name so well. You’re such a good boy. I’m very proud of you.” Dan looked pleased and handed the drawing to Phil.

“Do you wanna watch some cartoons now Love?” Dan nodded eagerly and they moved over to the sofa. Phil sat down and Dan immediately settled into the cushions and placed his head in Phil’s lap while Phil set up the show. Phil handed him his pacifier and Dan contentedly suckled at the dummy while Phil stroked his soft cheek and played with his brown curls.

Ten minutes into an episode of Arthur Dan had started squirming around a lot. Phil kept throwing glances at him, but Dan didn’t seem distracted from the show so it was only his body being restless. Phil tried to shift subtly a bit away to try and get Dan’s cheek of his crotch and instead onto his thigh. But every time he shifted Dan just shifted with him only resulting in Dan’s face grinding lightly into Phil’s groin. Phil stifled a moan and felt disgusted with himself as his jeans grew tighter.

Dan kept moving restlessly and Phil noticed him slipping on to his stomach on the sofa, cheek still firmly against Phil’s growing problem. Phil tried to focus on the cartoon in order to calm himself down. It had just started to work, as frankly aardvarks weren’t really a big turn on for Phil, when he heard a big throaty moan escape Dan’s lips. Phil froze for a second but as soon as he came to his senses he whipped his head to the side and almost gasped in shock at the sight. Dan was thrusting his hips into the cushions of the sofa vigorously, eyes firmly squeezed shut and still suckling on his pacifier. His face was flushed and Phil felt his own cheeks colour as a surge of want went through him. He was so distracted by his own desire, listening to Dan’s desperate whimpers, that he didn’t even notice when Dan’s eyes opened again and the pacifier fell from his lips.

“Daddy?” whined Dan. He stopped thrusting and twisted around so he was lying on his side facing Phil but still in his lap. He glanced up at Phil through his eyelashes and his eyes looked glassy and desperate. Phil gulped and fought the urge to thrust into the side of Dan’s face.

“What is it Baby?” he whispered and felt startled at his own thick deep voice.

“Daddy please help me. I feel funny down there.” Dan gestured towards his own crotch and Phil let his eyes fall on the big tent in the front of Dan’s onesie. Phil’s mouth went dry and before he could say anything in reply Dan started getting up and hurriedly climbed into Phil’s arms, straddling his lap.

“Daddy!” he whined as he started grinding himself against Phil’s lower stomach; his soft arse sliding repeatedly over Phil’s erection. “Daddy, do you feel funny there too?” Phil was panicking and started to gently try and get Dan of him, but Dan clung to his frame and kept thrusting.

“Dan, Baby, we can’t… I need you to stop-” Phil reluctantly fought against the waves of pleasure coursing through his body and tried to stay rational. This was wrong. He couldn’t do something like this with little Dan. But Dan cut him off with a loud moan and a desperate plea,

“Daddy please, I need you.” he begged urgently “Please touch me, Daddy.” Phil’s need to keep Dan happy and take care of him was so strong that it broke his resolve to not engage in this and he felt himself flipping Dan off his lap and onto his back on the sofa. He then leaned over Dan’s body and ran his hand down the front of his onesie until it reached Dan’s erection. Phil cupped it through the thin fabric and hesitantly applied pressure. It felt foreign to be touching Dan this intimately, but frankly Phil liked it. Dan let out a whiny moan and rutted against his hand.

“Yesss.” he hissed as Phil started moving his fingers. “Daddy!” he sobbed out brokenly.

“Sssh, it’s okay Baby. Daddy’s got you.” Phil soothed “I’m gonna take such good care of you my little prince, I promise.” He leaned down and gently kissed each of Dan’s rosy cheeks. Dan rolled his face to the side and connected their lips. The kiss was gentle but very intense.

“I… I love you so much Daddy” whimpered Dan as his trusts became shorter and more rapid; his breath hitching and his pupils blown wide. Phil was in awe at his innocent beauty and he felt a surge of pride that he was the one who could take care of Dan like this. Soon Dan cried out and a wet patch formed on his onesie under Phil’s palm as he kept stroking him through his high.

“You’re such a good boy. So pretty. Daddy loves you so much.” He cooed and gathered the spent and tired boy in his arms and pulled him up against him. “Do you feel better now Babyboy?” he asked as he stroked Dan’s damp fringe off his forehead. Dan panted and smiled against Phil’s chest.

“I do Daddy. I really liked it.” He looked shyly at Phil. “Is that okay?” Phil nodded firmly,

“Of course it is Baby. It’s perfectly normal to get hard down there. Daddy didn’t mind helping you.” Even as he reassured Dan Phil felt oceans of doubt and disgust wash over him. He was still hard and fighting the need to just push Dan down and fuck into his warm mouth. He was about to get up and leave Dan to watch the cartoon so he could calm himself down in the bathroom when Dan spoke again.

“Daddy you’re hard down there too.” He stated innocently and reached his hand out to gently touch against the bulge in Phil’s pyjamas trousers. He smiled coyly at Phil as he started rubbing gently. The touch so soft that it almost felt painful against Phil’s straining erection.

“You’re so big Daddy” Dan marvelled and licked his lips, his eyes huge. Phil was conflicted; how could someone look so cute and innocent but also sexy as fuck all at the same time? He felt disgusted at himself for wanting this particular combination so much. But God, how he wanted it though!

“Daddy can I see it? I want to look.” Dan begged and pulled at the front of Phil’s pyjama trousers. Phil didn’t know what to do. He didn’t want to deny Dan’s earnest request but he was also really scared of what might happen. Could he stop himself from going too far? Maybe he’d already gone too far? Probably. But he really wanted to go farther. The many contradictory emotions he felt were driving him insane.

“Danny, Baby, I don’t think…” he tried to deny Dan’s request but Dan’s instant pout and dejected whine broke his resolve. “Okay. Alright Baby.” He sighed and started pulling down his trousers and pants. As Phil’s cock sprung free of the material Dan giggled and bounced in excitement.

“Can I touch it?” Dan had gone still again now, his head bend down towards Phil’s erection, eyes huge and pupils blown as he stared in wonder. _No. No that’s wrong,_ thought Phil but what came out of his mouth was a strangled,

“Please…” He was almost crying with repressed need now, and he was losing the will to fight. Dan’s hand slowly reached out and tentatively grabbed Phil’s cock. He was still staring in total fascination at it as he cautiously started moving his hand. His grasp of Phil’s cock was so very light and it was driving Phil mad with frustration but it also felt amazing. He forced himself to stay still, not wanting to scare Dan by thrusting his hips.

“Is this good Daddy?” asked Dan softly and applied a bit more pressure as he continued to move his hand. Phil’s dick twitched excitedly at Dan’s words. God, Phil would be going to hell for this.

“Yes,” he moaned, “It’s so good Danny. You make Daddy feel so good.” Dan finally looked away from Phil’s erection and instead beamed up at him.

“Am I being a good boy Daddy?” he asked with a longing look in his eyes. It was almost as if he was begging for compliments and Phil was certainly not going to deny him that.

“Yes. Yes, Babyboy, you are being such a good boy. You’re so good for Daddy. You’re the prettiest little boy in the world, did you know that?” He lifted his hand up to stroke Dan’s hair tenderly as he praised him. Dan looked thrilled and his hand started working Phil more confidently, firmer, his fingers playing with the foreskin and sliding over the slit. Phil let out a long moan and couldn’t stop himself from thrusting up into the touch. Dan fortunately did not get frightened and just continued his exploration. Phil felt himself starting to grow closer, pre-come lubricating Dan’s hand as he worked over the sensitive skin. Phil couldn’t help throwing his head back and shutting his eyes tightly as pleasure coursed through him.

Unexpectedly the pleasure ceased but before Phil could react he felt delicious wetness around the tip of his cock. He almost bucked up but stopped himself last second, gaze snapping down to see the top of Dan’s curly haired head. _Jesus Christ!_ Dan was lapping at the head of Phil’s dick, his raspy tongue felt so good and Phil let out a deep moan of pleasure, grabbing onto Dan’s hair a bit too tightly. It was too much and not enough at all.

“Oh my God, Baby, you make Daddy feel so good” he gasped. Dan’s head lifted back up to look at Phil,

“Daddy you taste salty. I like it” Dan’s hand was back on Phil’s cock and Phil couldn’t help fucking into his tight fist. Dan bend back down and started sucking on Phil’s tip while still moving his hand firmly. He made happy little humming noises while he sucked eagerly at Phil’s cock as if it was his pacifier. That thought kicked Phil over the edge and before he could even warn Dan he was coming. After the first spurt of come entered Dan’s mouth he pulled his face back startled and the next two loads landed on his cheek and across his lips.

As Phil came down from his high he watched Dan lick the come from his lips and smile sweetly. Then Dan ran a finger through the come on his cheek and looked at it in wonder.

“Do you wanna taste Daddy?” He was looking at Phil through his lashes, lips plumb and red, still covered in come and an aftershock ran through Phil’s entire body. Phil opened his mouth in invitation and let Dan stick his finger in. He licked off his own salty-bitter come and moaned around Dan’s finger. Dan giggled and withdrew his digit,

“That tickles Daddy!” He then threw his arms around Phil’s neck and hugged him tight. “I love you so much Daddy” he declared and kissed the side of Phil’s head with a loud smack.

Now that Phil was coming down the guilt was setting back in even stronger than before and all he could manage was a strangled whisper,

“I love you too Precious” Phil gently pushed Dan away from him and reached out with his sleeve to wipe off the remaining cum from Dan’s face. He couldn’t look Dan in the eye. How could he have used the innocent boy in front of him like that? What kind of paedophile was he? He felt ill.

“Danny Daddy needs to go make lunch now. Do you want to continue watching Arthur while I cook or do you wanna play with your toys? Colour?” Dan lay back down on the sofa as Phil stood up and pulled up his clothing. He curled into a small ball and hugged himself tight.

“I wanna watch Arthur.” he mumbled and yawned. Phil smiled despite the fact that he felt like he might vomit any time now. God, how could he have done this? He needed to get the fuck out of here. He was halfway through the lounge when he heard Dan’s small voice again,

“I want my dummy Daddy.” Phil walked back and picked up the pacifier from the floor. He wiped it off on his own trousers and stuck it gently into Dan’s open mouth. The sight of Dan suckling at it gave him flashbacks and he immediately ran out of the room. _Fuck!_

\--

Phil had continued to take care of Dan in his little state as well as he could, but as soon as Dan was back to normal Phil had excused himself and hurried to his own room, door securely shut and locked. That was tree days ago and he’d only come out to take care of his physical needs in order to survive. He was in effect avoiding Dan and the irony of that did not escape him but he didn’t care. There was no way he could face Dan after what he’d done to him when he was little. Dan had trusted Phil; he’d trusted him to care for him and keep him safe in his most vulnerable state and Phil had taken advantage of him. He felt like a monster.

Of course Dan had occasionally been knocking on his door trying to get his attention, offering him dinner or asking if he wanted to hang out, but Phil had just made poor excuses and stayed cooped up in his safe room while letting dark thoughts consume him. This was not normal Phil behaviour; this was Dan behaviour. This was how Dan coped with things, not Phil. Phil usually talked about things and worked them out. Sometimes he got really angry and yelled for a bit first, but he didn’t usually run and hide. But the fears he felt were crippling and he didn’t know how to explain to Dan why he’d done it. He was sure Dan must be upset with him even if he wasn’t showing it. How could he not? Phil had essentially raped Dan, he thought, because how could someone consent to adult activities when they were in little space? He was terrified that Dan would accuse him of being a paedophile and he was even more scared that maybe he was. What other explanation could there be?

Eventually Dan had enough and cornered Phil as soon as he went to the toilet; it felt like a reversed déjà vu of sorts.

“Phil stop avoiding me.” he demanded a deep frown on his forehead. Dan was not as gentle as Phil when it came to confrontations and where Phil might have softly, patiently asked Dan what was wrong Dan just demanded that it be fixed immediately. “Tell me what’s wrong.” he commanded. Phil almost smiled at Dan’s predictable behaviour. Dan was not comfortable with confrontations of this sort and he definitely did not enjoy being ignored by anyone least of all Phil. But then Phil remembered what he’d done to Dan and his smile faded before it even formed. He tried to answer but it came out as an unintelligible stutter.

“I… I… Dan, I… don’t… It’s…” he gave up and just looked down at the floor. How could he explain himself? Then it occurred to him, the most important thing right now wasn’t to explain, the most important thing was to apologise to Dan. Phil almost face palmed, why hadn’t he done this sooner? Dan deserved a thousand apologies. He fixed his gaze on Dan intently.

“I am _so_ sorry Dan” he said as sincerely as he could. Dan _had_ to believe him, even if he didn’t forgive him, it was paramount. Dan stared at Phil with a blank expression for a long while; Phil couldn’t read him and that terrified him.  

“What the fuck are you on about?” Dan said and he definitely looked confused now and quite a bit exasperated.

“I…I… I’m sorry for what I did to you when, y’know…” he stammered and trailed off, Dan would understand what he meant. But Dan didn’t,

“What you did when? Phil, what the fuck are you talking about? You haven’t done anything to me at all, well except for avoiding me the last few days. I do not appreciate that by the way, I thought we were past all that.” Dan looked a little cross as he said this but somehow approachable too. Phil was so confused and he had a hard time deciding what to reply next so the silence dragged on until Dan snapped and he seized Phil’s shoulders and shook him lightly.

“Tell me what you think you did! Right now Phil, we’re going to talk about it and you’ll realise what a giant oaf you’re being.” His gaze bore into Phil’s unrelenting, “Spill!”

“I… When you were little… I-” he stared blankly over Dan’s shoulder avoiding the eye contact “I took advantage of you and I don’t know what’s wrong with me. But I’m so _so_ sorry, I can’t even begin to tell you how sorry I am. I don’t know why I did it. Maybe I’m just some kind of pervert. I… I’m _so_ sorry Dan. It won’t happen again!” Once he began it all spilled out in one long string of apologies, tears of embarrassment and regret forming in his eyes. 

_Silence._

“Phil” Dan reached his hand up to angle Phil’s face so he was looking at him, “I wanted it. It’s fine.” Phil shook his head vehemently.

“No it isn’t. You were small, there was no way you could consent. I… I think maybe I’m a paedophile.” Phil’s face grew icy pale as he admitted his deepest fear and he felt sick to his stomach. Dan gasped loudly and smacked a hand against Phil’s shoulder roughly.

“What the fuck Phil!” he yelled. “What the _actual_ fuck? Are you stupid? I’m an _adult_ Phil. Even if I sometimes go into little space I’m still an adult and I am consenting. Alright?” Phil was about to argue but Dan cut him off to continue. “Do you actually want to fuck children Phil?” he shot Phil a withering look as he asked this. Phil shook his head,

“No, but-“

“No buts! If you don’t want to fuck a kid Phil, then you are _not_ a paedophile!” he cut off Phil loudly, spit spraying from his mouth as he urgently tried to get his point across. Then his expression turned gentler and he softly touched Phil’s arm. “Phil I need you to understand that you didn’t do anything wrong. I wanted it. If I hadn’t wanted it I would have let you know. Even when I am deep in my little space I am still me, I’m still aware and I know how to say no. Do you understand that?”

Phil took a long moment to ponder this over. It did make sense and it’s not like Dan had any reason to lie to him. Phil felt an overwhelming sense of relief even if part of him still wasn’t sure that he hadn’t done something bad. He nodded cautiously,

“I guess.” He said hesitantly. “But I just feel weird doing that anyway and it freaks me out how much it turns me on when you act little. Like, I don’t think you understand how much I want to…” Phil trailed off and blushed deeply.

“Want to what?” Dan asked breathlessly his hand tightening on Phil’s arm as he moved a little closer. Phil looked intently at the floor as he answered.

“I want to just hold you down and fuck you until you cry and beg and… Oh my God, I am such a freak!” Phil cried and Dan whimpered. He actually whimpered and Phil’s gaze shot back up to Dan’s glassy eyes. Dan looked wrecked.

“I want that.” Dan whispered his voice suddenly rough and scratchy and it made a thrill go down Phil’s spine. But there was still a niggling fear in the back of his head.

“Yeah, but it’s not like we do it when we’re just _us_. It’s just weird to do _that_ when you’re little.” Phil mused and Dan scowled at him.

“It’s not weird. You liked it didn’t you? And I sure as fuck did. So what’s weird about it?” Phil didn’t know what to answer. There was just something about it that didn’t quite sit right. After a few moments of silence Dan continued, a sly smile lighting up his face,

“You loved it. You wanna do it more” he quoted and Phil broke into startled giggles. They both bend over laughing, clutching at each other to stay upright. Eventually some of the tension returned but there had still been a notable change in the air around them.

“Do you want to have sex now?” Dan bluntly asked, “I mean we don’t have to only do it when I’m little if that what’s your problem?” Phil’s mouth fell open and he stared at Dan in surprise. Dan wasn’t wrong. Now that he thought about it Phil came to realise that maybe part of the reason he felt so bad about being with Dan when he was little, was that he’d never even been with Dan when he was just Dan. Was he attracted to grown up Dan? Fuck yeah! So why not? He nodded fairly eagerly,

“I’d like that, yeah.”

“Alright.” Dan smiled widely a devious gleam forming in his eyes that put Phil slightly on edge. “But you’re going to have a bath first cause you look nasty as heck. Have you even showered these last three days?” He laughed and hugged Phil tightly before adding “Come to my bedroom when you’re ready,” he winked “ _Daddy._ ” Then he left Phil standing dumbstruck in front of the door to the toilet.

\--

It had taken superhuman effort to not touch himself in the shower but Phil had managed and was now entering Dan’s room clean and dressed hurriedly in a pair of trackies and a t-shirt. He hadn’t bothered with underwear. Dan was sitting on his bed using his laptop but when Phil came in he looked up with a big smile and gestured for Phil to come sit down. He closed the laptop and put it on his bedside table as Phil awkwardly sat on the edge of the bed. It was odd feeling so awkward around Dan; normally they were at their most relaxed when they were together. Dan reached out a hand and gently ran it through Phil’s hair in a comforting manner.

“Relax Phil. We don’t have to dive right in, we can just talk first.” He let his hand run from Phil’s head and down his rigid back pulling him closer into a side hug. “We’re just Dan and Phil, remember?” Dan reminded him and Phil tried to relax but he was still feeling incredibly nervous. This felt far too planned, not spontaneous at all, and he didn’t know what to do with himself. Luckily Dan was more confident and he continued to hold Phil close stroking his side as he spoke.

“Remember how you said you wanted to hold me down and fuck me until I cry?” it wasn’t really a question so Phil didn’t answer but he did cringe and blush a little. “I want that so bad Phil. I like when you make me feel small and…” Dan looked a little uncomfortable now too but he kept going. “…like I’m not in charge I guess.” Phil gulped. He was starting to get turned on now and it was making things a lot less awkward. Dan’s hand slid back up to Phil’s head and pulled it closer.

The kiss felt nice but foreign. Other than the small hesitant kiss the other day they’d never made out while not thoroughly inebriated and as they were best friends and had been for many years it did feel a bit odd. But it didn’t take long for Phil to start losing himself to the sensation. Dan’s lips were moving firmly against his and when Dan’s slick tongue entered his mouth he gasped out in pleasure. Scratch what he said before, this was not just nice, this was incredible. They kept kissing for a really long time and their hands started exploring each other’s bodies shyly at first but quickly growing needier.

So far Dan had been taking charge but the more turned on Phil got, the more he felt himself taking over. He kissed Dan more forcefully and started pushing him back into the bed. Dan moaned loudly and let himself be handled. He looked extremely excited when Phil grabbed his wrists and pinned them to the bed as he climbed onto Dan’s lap. Dan was very hard and he cried out as Phil sat down on top of him, his bum applying hard pressure where Dan very much needed it. Phil smirked and started grinding his arse on Dan enjoying the desperate mewls of pleasure coming from him. This was fun. How come they’d never done this before? Right now Phil’s mind could not come up with any reasons.

“Is this good?” he asked with a smirk. He knew damn well that Dan was enjoying it but he wanted to hear him say it.

“Yes.” Dan’s eyes were darker than usual and he looked so wrecked already, “Fuck Phil, it’s so good.” He threw his head back violently as Phil ground down harder.

“You look so pretty Daniel. I like the way you look when I hold you down.” Phil said and grabbed Dan’s wrists even harder, showing him that he was in control. Dan whimpered and thrust up wildly into Phil’s arse. “Do you want me to fuck you now Dan?”

“Yesss!” Dan exclaimed and the desperation in his voice was palpable. “I want you to fuck me Daddy.” Phil froze but before he could move or say anything Dan quickly continued. “I’m not little. It’s okay, I just think it’s hot. I don’t have to call you Daddy if you don’t want me to.” Phil did want him to and he quickly let him know that it was alright. He leaned down and whispered seductively into Dan’s ear,

“Daddy’s gonna fuck you so good Baby. Don’t worry.” Phil felt Dan’s cock twitch enthusiastically at his words and he continued to lean in and kissed behind Dan’s ear and down his neck while Dan moaned in pleasure. Phil proceeded to then climb off Dan’s body and Dan looked positively betrayed. Phil couldn’t help a small laugh.

“Dan I’m not leaving I’m just gonna go in to my room and get some lube and a condom.” Dan visibly relaxed. “Now be a good boy and get yourself undressed. And don’t you dare touch yourself while I’m gone!” Phil barked out and felt a thrill run through his body at the power he felt ordering Dan around.

Once he returned with the stuff they needed as well as a few other things he was taken aback. Dan was naked sitting on his knees on the bed, back turned towards Phil and his wrists crossed behind him. His head was bowed in submission and Phil felt like he could come just from the sight. Dan’s body was beautiful.

“Dan.” he choked out and hesitantly moved closer. He was frankly surprised at how submissive Dan was acting. Dan was not exactly a submissive person in day to day life; he was bossy and liked being in charge of everything so he could control every last detail. But apparently in the bedroom he liked to be dominated. Phil’s mouth watered at the thought.

“Do you want me to call you Sir or Master or something?” Dan asked. Phil shook his head even though Dan couldn’t see him,

“No. You call me Phil or Daddy. Okay.” It was not a question but an order. “Now Danny, I want you to bend over for me but keep your hands behind your back.” Dan did as he was told, his face resting on the mattress and his perfect bum nicely on display. Phil leaned in and tenderly stroked his hand over the exposed arse cheeks. He slapped the right one lightly and was rewarded with a pleased moan from Dan. “You’re such a good boy, and what a perfect arse you have. I can’t wait to be inside you.”

Phil grabbed the lube but suddenly something occurred to him. He climbed onto the bed so he could sit in front of Dan and be able to see his face. He pulled Dan back up to a sitting position, “Dan have you ever been fucked before?” he asked searching Dan’s face for any emotions he might try to hide. Dan looked away though and it was a long while before he answered.

“No.” he finally said but he quickly almost desperately continued “But I’ve, you know, fingered myself and I have a toy.” He finally looked up at Phil and stared at him sort of defiantly. Phil thought maybe he was worried that Phil wouldn’t fuck him just because he hadn’t done it before. He reached out and stroked Dan’s messy fringe out of his face,

“Don’t worry Dan I’ve done this before and I’ll take real good care of you. I just need you to relax and tell me if anything hurts. I’m not gonna stop unless you want me to, but you have to tell me if it hurts. Okay?” Dan nodded,

“I promise.” Phil leaned in to tenderly kiss his cheeks and then his lips. The kissing quickly escalated into proper snogging and after a while Phil had to reluctantly pull away for air.

“God, you are beautiful Dan.” he marvelled, “Now bend over again and spread your legs a bit for me.” Phil crawled behind Dan, grabbed the lube again and coated three fingers generously; he then squirted even more lube directly on Dan’s exposed hole. Dan shuddered at the cold sensation and spread his legs a little more allowing Phil better access. Phil began by just gently massaging around Dan’s rim with his lubed up fingers while using his left hand to knead Dan’s buttocks. He wanted to relax him before he entered but Dan was impatient.

“Just stick one in already.” he complained and tried to push back on Phil’s fingers. Phil reacted by smacking his arse hard with his left hand.

“Shut up Dan. I’m in charge now. You just lie back and do as I tell you. Stay still okay.” Phil was still a little surprised at how dominant he was being but it felt amazing and it was clear to him that Dan was very into it too. That in turn made Phil even hornier as there was nothing he liked more than pleasing others; It was always much more important than his own pleasure.

“Yes Daddy” Dan moaned into the mattress, “I’m sorry.”

“That’s okay Baby. I’m sure you’re gonna be a good boy now.” Phil went back to work massaging Dan’s perineum and playing around his entrance, making a point out of being extra slow and careful just to tease Dan and assert his dominance. Dan didn’t complain this time even though Phil was sure he was very impatient so he decided to reward him by slowly pushing in his index finger. There wasn’t too much resistance and it was clear that Dan was proper relaxed and had definitely done this part before so Phil soon added another finger and started scissoring him open. He didn’t search out his prostate yet, just kept slowly loosening Dan’s rim holding him open as he squirted in some more lube. Better too much than too little, he wanted this to be good and painless for Dan. Then he worked in a third finger and after scissoring for a while longer he started searching for the walnut sized gland he knew would bring Dan so much pleasure.

Dan was already squirming with desire but when Phil found his prostate he let out a deep lust filled moan and pushed himself harder onto Phil’s fingers. Phil curved his fingers and started steadily stroking over the spot repeatedly. Dan’s face was still buried in the mattress and he had to turn his head to the side so he could gasp in desperate gulps of oxygen. His neck was flushed and his hair was going even curlier from sweat. He looked incredible.

“You’re so gorgeous Dan, so pretty.” Phil praised as it had not gone unnoticed how much Dan enjoyed being praised. “Do you like Daddy’s fingers inside of you? Do they feel better than your own?” Dan whined and fucked desperately unto Phil’s stroking fingers.

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Yes. Yes. _So_ good.” He chanted and Phil felt too pleased to bother reprimanding him for moving. Instead he encouraged him by moving his fingers faster as he egged him on in a deep voice.

“Yeah, fuck yourself on Daddy’s fingers. You’re so tight and your arse is so perfect. My cock is gonna feel so good inside you.” Dan was whimpering with pleasure and his fingers were turning slightly purple from holding themselves tightly clasped at an awkward angle behind his back. Phil thought he must be getting close to coming from the way he was grunting and fucking himself, so he reluctantly pulled out his fingers. Dan cried out from the loss but he stayed in position as Phil had demanded earlier and Phil was very pleased with him.

“Good boy. I want you on your belly now, head by the headboard.” Dan shuffled to get into the required position, apparently extremely eager to please Phil. Or maybe he was just eager for things to proceed. Either way Phil was satisfied with him.

Phil grabbed the old tie he’d gotten from his bedroom earlier along with the lube and condom and he moved behind Dan and started tying his wrists behind his back. He told Dan that if he wanted to be freed all he had to do was ask, but if he wanted a safe-word they could do that too. Dan declined.

For a while once Dan was all tied up Phil just sat back on his calves and watched Dan intently. He looked flushed and beautiful bound up like this and willing to accept anything, do anything that Phil wanted. Phil felt breathless with desire.

After a moment Phil pulled off his own shirt and trousers and flipped Dan over so he was lying on his back resting on his arms. He crawled to hover over Dan’s naked form, slowly lowered himself down and sighed deeply at the delicious feeling of skin against skin. Dan felt perfect, warm and soft under him. He lay there for a while ignoring his own need for friction and testing how far he could push Dan before he’d start to complain again. He began lazily kissing Dan’s neck but soon a strong urge to mark him, claim him overtook Phil and he started sucking and biting at the tender skin near his collarbone. Dan was going wild under his lips, writhing and moaning loudly and Phil felt incredibly powerful. Eventually Dan cracked though,

“Please fuck me Phil! Please I need you. I need you so bad.” He begged tears actually forming in his eyes from desperation and Phil felt proud to have reduced Dan to this needy disarray.

“Alright Baby.” Phil moved back off Dan’s body and lifted Dan’s legs onto his shoulders; he then pushed a pillow under Dan’s lower back and let his legs fall down to wrap around Phil’s waist. “Are you comfortable like this?” Dan nodded.

“Good.” Phil leaned down and kissed Dan’s thigh a few times as his hand reached out to grasp Dan’s leaking cock to give it a few tugs. He then grabbed the condom and put it on his own dick and applied a very generous amount of lube. “Ready Baby?”

“Yes. God, I’m so ready Phil!” Phil lined up his cock with Dan’s entrance and as he started slowly pushing in he locked eyes with Dan. The tight heat around his cock was almost too much and Phil had to use all his self-control to keep moving slowly. Once he bottomed out he held still and watched Dan’s face. His eyebrows were scrunched together and his breath came in quick gasps.

“It hurts a bit Phil.” He gritted out through clenched teeth. “But it’s fine. Don’t stop.”

“I won’t stop unless you want me to Baby. Just take deep breaths and try to relax. I’ll keep still as long as you need. You’re doing so well Angel.” Phil soothed and reached for Dan’s cock to try and relax him.

After a while Dan’s brow unfurrowed and he visibly relaxed, “Please move Phil. I… I’m ready.” Dan whispered and Phil slowly pulled out a little and pushed back in. Dan moaned deeply his head lolling backwards. Phil kept slowly fucking him for a while running his hands over Dan’s thighs and hips, anywhere he could reach. It felt amazing to fuck into Dan’s tight heat and he slowly picked up speed and started thrusting in harder angling differently on each trust trying to find Dan’s prostate.

“So good…” moaned Dan, he looked flushed and lost in pleasure underneath Phil. Suddenly he cried out loudly and thrashed his head against the mattress, “Fucking Christ!” he yelled. Phil kept at the same angle making sure to brush the spot on each thrust.

“Do you like that Danny? Do you want Daddy to fuck you harder Baby?” Phil teased. Dan whined in pleasure and begged,

“Please. Fuck yes. Fuck me harder Daddy. Your cock feels so good inside me. You’re so big.” His dirty words were incredibly hot to Phil and he felt himself growing closer. He grabbed onto Dan’s hips harshly, fingernails digging into the flesh and probably leaving half-moon shaped marks behind, as he pounded into Dan harder and faster.

“You’re being so good for me Dan. So tight. Fuck” Phil’s thrusts were growing shorter and even more rapid and he tried desperately to stave off his orgasm, he wanted Dan to come first.

“So close.” Dan had tears in his eyes as he begged for release “Please Daddy, I want to come. Let me come. Fuck me harder!” Phil tried to pick up the speed even more and reached down and started roughly stroking Dan’s cock.

“Come for Daddy, Danny.” It only took a few strokes and a snap of his wrist over the head and Dan was coming over Phil’s hand and his own chest. Neck and face deeply flushed, head tossing against the sheets. He was whining, almost screaming, loudly and his anal muscles contracted around Phil as he rode out his high.

“Good boy” moaned Phil brokenly and let himself come inside Dan. He collapsed onto Dan’s legs still thrusting shallowly through his own release. Then he pulled out and fell to the bed next to Dan breathing hard, discarding the condom in the process.

They both just lay there gasping for breath feeling the high still course through their bodies until Phil eventually leaned over and pushed Dan onto his side so he could free his wrists. He gently rubbed at Dan’s tender skin and kissed his palm. Then he snuggled up close behind Dan holding him safely against his chest, kissing his shoulder.

“Thank you Baby,” he whispered, “you did so well.” Dan murmured in acknowledgment and slowly turned around in Phil’s arms. Once they were face to face Phil could feel Dan’s come smearing between their stomachs and it gave him a small thrill to think about. Dan lifted up his hand and brushed through Phil’s hair. He smiled tenderly and Phil enjoyed the way Dan looked so thoroughly fucked out.

“This was incredible.” Dan’s eyes were sparkly and he nuzzled his face into Phil’s neck happily. There was a pause and then Dan looked up again with a cheeky expression “That was the most fun I’ve ever had.” He giggled and Phil joined in. Phil felt like he was floating and happier than he’d been for ages. This felt right.

After a while Phil heard Dan’s breath even out and felt him go lax against his body. He smiled and sighed, he had to get up and take out his contacts or he’d be in a hell of pain tomorrow. He pulled the cover over Dan and reluctantly snuck to his own room to take care of it and once he was comfortably wearing his glasses and a fresh pair of pyjama trousers he went to the bathroom and got a flannel wet. When he returned to the bed he gently lifted away the duvet and washed Dan’s stomach, and then his own, clean from semen. Then he slid back into bed and cuddled up to Dan’s warm form. Soon he joined Dan in slumber.

\--

Next morning Phil woke up smiling and slightly nervous. He rolled over expecting to knock into Dan but there was no one else but him in the bed. He frowned lightly and pushed himself into a sitting position. He grasped for his glasses on the bedside table so he could look at the time, but then he remembered that his phone was still in his own bedroom so he got up to grab it and find Dan.

Once Phil made it downstairs it was just past nine in the morning. It felt weird to be up this early for no particular reason, but they had fallen asleep very early last night. He found Dan in the lounge occupying his regular spot on the sofa, laptop in hand. Dan looked up and smiled.

“Hey. I waited with breakfast until you woke. I thought we could watch on in Hunter x Hunter?” Phil was momentarily thrown off at Dan’s incredibly _normal_ behaviour. He’d expected either ‘panic mode’ Dan or ‘let’s talk about this’ Dan so this normalcy took him by surprise.

“Oh. Yeah. Sure. Um, good morning Dan.” Phil mumbled and went to the kitchen to get cereal. Dan joined him and soon they fell into their usual routine, neither of them mentioning the night before. _Maybe it was a one off?_ Phil thought.

\--

However, as it turned out it wasn’t. Dan was still acting totally normal, he’d still go into little space sometimes and Phil would take care of him, they’d make videos and go out to whatever social obligations they had and Phil didn’t think anyone could detect a change in them. They were still as close as ever, but not closer, not really. However Dan increasingly frequently came to Phil’s room now, lube and condom in hand and asked if Phil wanted to fuck. Dan was fast becoming a major bottom, he always wanted to be fucked and used and dominated and luckily Phil liked to comply. But it was starting to weird him out that they never acknowledged what they did outside of the actual act itself. The sex _was_ incredible though.

One thing they hadn’t done however was have sex while Dan was little since the session on the sofa a while ago. That however soon changed.

\--

It was late evening and Dan was in little space but he was not being a precious angel as he usually was. He was cross and throwing tantrums at every suggestion Phil made. Eventually he hit Phil and yelled “I hate you Daddy!” and Phil had had enough. He sent Dan to his room to cool off and told him he had to stay there until he was ready to be a good boy. Dan had been in there about ten minutes when Phil stopped hearing him huffing angrily and throwing stuff so he went quietly to Dan’s room and opened the door.

“Hey Sweetheart, are you ready to be a good boy now?” Dan glared at him and threw a pillow so Phil decided to leave him a little longer. “I see. Well, come get me when you’re sweet again.”

He went to the kitchen and started making a coffee but it didn’t take long before he felt arms around his legs. He looked down to find Dan on the floor on his knees, pacifier in his mouth, nuzzling Phil’s thighs.

“I’m sorry Daddy,” he said, words muffled by his pacifier. “I’m gonna be a good boy now.” Phil was about to forgive him and suggest an activity they could do together when Dan continued. “Maybe you should punish me Daddy?” Dan had a devilish glint in his otherwise big and innocent eyes. Phil gulped and reached down a hand to grab Dan’s hair gently, angling his head further back. Dan looked so pretty and submissive and adorable all at once and this time Phil _knew_ that it was okay, that Dan _wanted_ this.

“Well, it’s good to be sorry Baby,” Phil began in a deeper, harsher voice, tenderly stroking his fingers over Dan’s hair and down his cheek, “but sometimes sorry isn’t enough.” He gently smacked Dan’s cheek, but still hard enough to sting. Dan wailed and dropped his pacifier out of his mouth. For a second Phil felt a stab of fear. _Had he gone too far?_ But then Dan moved his face forward and nuzzled his sore cheek into Phil’s crotch.

“I’ll make it up to you Daddy,” he whispered, “I’ll be a good boy for you.” He turned his face and started mouthing at Phil through his jeans. The hot, wet breaths seeping through the two layers of fabric and making Phil shiver. Phil wasn’t sure how to proceed but his growing cock decided for him and he started unbuttoning his trousers. Dan didn’t stop nuzzling him even as he pulled down his jeans and the friction through only a thin layer of cotton was maddening. Phil grabbed Dan’s hair tightly again and pushed him closer.

“You like Daddy’s cock Baby?” he asked, gently running his other hand down Dan’s neck, squeezing slightly. Dan pulled back just enough to look up at Phil with glassy eyes. He held eye contact while he nodded sombrely.

“I’m gonna need you to suck my cock Precious. You’ve been bad and I want you to show me that you can be good now.” Phil pushed Dan’s head back into his crotch harshly and Dan moaned and started sucking through the thin fabric. For a while they stood like that until Phil was entirely hard and bursting with need. He pulled down his pants then and Dan immediately burrowed himself into Phil’s now exposed crotch. Dan’s hands snaked their way up Phil’s legs and started gently caressing his bum.

“Daddy.” he moaned against Phil’s balls, wet breath making Phil shiver violently. He looked up at Phil again. “Daddy I love you. I wanna be a good boy for you.” He looked so cute and earnest. “Teach me Daddy.” Phil smiled fondly down at the small boy in front of him.

“I know you do Baby. Daddy’s gonna teach you, don’t worry. Now, lick Daddy’s cock nice and firm.” Phil used his right hand to guide Dan’s face back down and Dan started licking slowly down Phil’s cock, twirling his tongue playfully but uncertainly around the head. When Dan was just Dan there was nothing tentative or slow about the way he sucked cock, but in his little space this was still new and he was being so careful. Too careful. Phil tried to urge him on with his hands and encouraging moans.

“Mm, Baby… Daddy likes it when you’re being so good. Now open up wide for Daddy.” Dan immediately complied, sitting back on his haunches mouth open wide. Phil always found himself marvelling at how huge Dan’s mouth was. He often told him during sex how his mouth was built for blowjobs, for pleasuring Phil’s cock, and Dan really enjoyed that cause he loved the feeling of being used. He’d even once described himself as a ‘cum dumpster’ while fucking. That had made Phil laugh and Dan had scowled at him angrily. Of course that had just led to angry ‘hate sex’ roleplay and they’d both ended up coming so hard they saw stars.

Phil snapped back to the present and slowly slid his cock into Dan’s waiting mouth. Normally he’d just thrust in and let Dan gag on it (as Dan enjoyed that), but this wasn’t just Dan, this was his precious baby and he wanted to at least give him time to adjust. It seemed however that Dan’s cocksucking instincts had finally kicked in, little space or not, and he was soon sucking hard and bopping his head enthusiastically. Phil hissed in a dep breath and couldn’t help himself from thrusting a little. Dan hummed happily around him so Phil kept thrusting in now a bit more forcefully. Dan started gagging as he fucked into the back of his throat, tears coming to his eyes, but he made no move to back away. Still, Phil felt like he had to check.

“Are you okay Baby? Is Daddy punishing you too hard?” Dan hummed around Phil’s length again and slid off it gasping for breath. His neck was flushed and his cheeks rosy and he looked back up at Phil with blown wide pupils. He shook his head and started giggling madly.

“No Daddy, I’m a good boy.” He stopped giggling and smiled proudly up at Phil.

“You really are. Such a good boy…” Phil gently brushed Dan’s sweaty curls out of his face, “Such a pretty boy.” He caressed Dan’s cheek and down his neck, grabbing his neck tightly cutting off some of his air supply. He then smacked his cock onto Dan’s face a few times.

“Does Daddy’s pretty boy want Daddy’s come?” Dan sucked in a deep breath and whined needily. He nodded so deeply that Phil’s cock brushed all the way across his face and into his hair and back again. Phil crouched down and took Dan’s hands in his, gently running a thumb over his palms. He made sure to hold eye contact with him as he asked in a low purring voice,

“What do you want to do with Daddy?” Phil let go of Dan’s hand and reached between his thighs instead where his dick was making a tent in the fluffy onesie he was wearing. “Oh, you’re so hard down there Baby, should Daddy suck you off for a while?” Dan nodded and smiled shyly. Phil stood up again and reached down a hand to Dan. “Come on Angel; let’s go to Daddy’s bedroom so we can play.”

Once in the bed Phil slowly unzipped Dan’s onesie, but he didn’t bother discarding it, he just pulled out Dan’s straining cock so it was protruding proudly beckoning for attention. Attention that Phil was all too willing to give.

“Here Baby” he said and handed Dan his pacifier, then he bend his head down and took Dan’s dick gently into his mouth. Phil was not as skilled at giving blowjobs as Dan was. His technique was good but he had more of a gag reflex than Dan and didn’t actually enjoy gagging as Dan did. However, Dan never minded when he took him more shallowly. Phil had a hand against the base, pumping while he sucked on the head and he was quickly rewarded with cute little whimpers coming from his baby boy. Little Dan seemed even easier to please than regular Dan and that thought made Phil almost laugh around his cock. After a while Phil stuck his left hand into the snuggly fabric of the onesie and reached around to gently play around Dan’s arsehole and perineum, stimulating his prostate through the skin. Dan moaned and whimpered around his pacifier.

“Daddy!” he squeaked and the pacifier fell from his mouth “I like that!” He bucked against Phil’s massaging fingers and threw his head back. Phil withdrew his mouth from Dan’s cock but kept stroking him languidly. He smirked up at Dan’s flushed form.

“Yeah? Does Baby like it when I touch his bottom?” he said teasingly and Dan nodded eagerly.

“Mm. It feels good Daddy.” Suddenly Dan’s face fell and he looked shy. “Is that bad? Am I bad?” Phil felt a surge of panic run through him. He absolutely hated it when his sweet angel felt even the slightest twinge of discomfort or doubt.

“No!” he yelled and had to lower his voice when Dan startled. “No, Angel. You are not bad. You are perfect. It’s totally normal to like being touched there.” He smiled reassuringly at Dan and leaned in to kiss his cheeks. Dan relaxed and giggled as Phil continued kissing all over his face and neck. “Actually,” Phil said “there’s something I think you’ll really like Babyboy” He reached towards Dan’s arm and started pulling off the onesie. “Turn over on your tummy for Daddy.” Dan did as instructed with an excited look on his face. Little Dan, unlike grown up Dan, loved surprises and was all too willing to just comply without asking why first.

Phil finished pulling off the onesie and then began by running his hands all over Dan’s exposed body. He was so beautiful. Phil never thought he could get tired of just watching Dan’s body. He loved the way his creamy but slightly tanned skin felt under his touch. Sometimes after they’d come and were both just lying together, Dan would usually fall asleep quite quick so Phil would often just lie there tracing patterns between all the little birthmarks, and small blemishes, and scars on Dan’s skin. He lowed how imperfectly perfect he was. Actually Phil was starting to get worried about how much time he spent just watching Dan, even when they weren’t in bed together.

Phil shook himself out of his thoughts and leaned in to do what he’d planned. He spread Dan’s legs gently and pushed at him so his bum was pointing perkily towards the ceiling, his arsehole nicely on display.

“You’re so pretty Baby.” he whispered and kissed a trail down Dan’s lower back, over his bum cheek and down his left thigh. Then he leaned in and licked a stripe from Dan’s balls, over his perineum and around his rim. Dan’s muscles twitched excitedly making his hole open and close against Phil’s tongue. Dan whimpered and Phil could feel his hand flying back to grab at Phil’s own hand that was holding open his arse cheeks. Phil squeezed back reassuringly but quickly went back to what he was doing. He loved rimming Dan. He loved the feeling of power it gave him to feel Dan fall apart around him with only the use of his tongue. He knew that this was one of Dan’s favourite things to have done to him, he liked it better than blowjobs, and once he’d actually made Dan come just from licking and sucking at him there.

He continued licking excitedly, slowly working his tongue into the tight heat, feeling Dan squirm against him and try to fuck back on his tongue. God, Phil loved this. It felt so good making Dan feel so good. Then he remembered that this wasn’t just Dan, this was little Dan and he felt a thrill of excitement run through him. He wanted to fuck little Dan tonight. He wanted to watch his precious, chubby face as he pounded into him. The thought alone made Phil’s cock throb even more uncomfortably between his legs.

After a long while he pulled his face away to look at Dan. Dan looked wrecked; his hair all over the place like he’d been pulling it, cheeks flushed and blotches of red all over his back and neck. He was sucking on his own thumb cheek resting firmly against the pillow.

“Daddy” he croaked brokenly. “It feels so good.” Phil felt a wave of fondness crash over him and he lunged forward to wrap his whole body around Dan protectively relishing the feeling of skin against skin.

“I’m so glad Baby. Daddy wants you to only ever feel good. You’re the most precious thing in my life Babyboy” He said and kissed the side of Dan’s face and neck tenderly a few times.

“Daddy?” asked Dan quietly and started turning over underneath Phil.

“Yes Sweetheart?”

“I’d like…” he hesitated and glanced shyly at Phil.

“What’d you want Baby?” Phil’s hand snaked down Dan’s body and aligned both their cocks so he could firmly pull them off together. He wanted to throw his head back with the pleasure and relief of attention being paid to his erection, but he forced his eyes to stay focused on Dan. Dan however let his head fall back and moaned prettily.

“I…” he looked back at Phil with glassy eyes. “Daddy… I want something in there…” he whispered embarrassedly and gestured at his lower body. “…please?” he looked uncertain, even a bit scared, but pleading all the same and Phil’s heart broke at his grave expression. He never wanted his little angel to feel like he couldn’t ask for anything, or like he had to be embarrassed about anything.

“Of course Baby.” he said and clasped Dan’s hand in his free one reassuringly “That’s really nice. Daddy loves that too.” He didn’t love anal stimulation as much as Dan, but honestly, who did? But he was not lying; he did enjoy it a lot. “Do you want to ride Daddy’s cock Baby?” Phil had fantasised about this so many times when he took care of himself in the shower and he really hoped that little Dan would want to. Dan nodded fiercely a big smile already back on his face and it made Phil chuckle how excited he was.

“Okay Sweetie. Daddy’s gonna need to open your bum up first with my fingers so it won’t hurt. Alright?” Dan nodded again, this time more seriously.

“Okay Daddy,” he said with an affectionate smile and continued excitedly “I can’t wait.” Phil chuckled again. Dan was being so adorable it was almost hard to stay sexual. But then again, part of what made this so kinky for Phil was the filthy contrast of sweetness v. lewdness. Sometimes it still gave him a twinge of guilt, but he knew that he’d _never_ want to be with an actual child so it was okay.

Phil let go of their cocks and crawled towards his bedside drawer to get lube and a condom.

Once Dan was thoroughly stretched and looked like a panting mess against the sheets Phil deemed him ready, “Okay Babyboy. Are you ready?” Dan seemed almost lost and like he had to snap himself out of somewhere far away. He looked blissed out but also desperate for more.

“Yesss” he whined suddenly impatient and frankly Phil felt the same. Phil crawled up towards the head end of the bed, kissing over Dan’s body in random places as he went. Then he leaned against the headboard, rolled on the condom and applied plenty of lube and beckoned for Dan to settle on top of him. Dan quickly shuffled into his lap and sat down. Phil’s cock slid between his lubed up bum cheeks and the friction was delicious. Phil leaned forward and started sucking on Dan’s neck eagerly while fucking into the slick heat of Dan’s crack. He was close enough that it would have definitely been enough for him to come from this, but he knew that Dan needed him inside. Dan confirmed this when he whined impatiently,

“Daddy I need you inside my bum.” Phil kept trusting, and licking and sucking at Dan’s neck for just a moment longer, lost in the delicious pleasure. But then he stilled and pulled his face away, pecking Dan on the mouth on his way.

“Okay sweet Angel, whenever you’re ready.” Phil lifted his right hand down to hold his own erection making it easier for Dan to sink onto it. Dan moaned loudly as the tip of Phil’s cock stretched his rim.

“Sssh, Baby. It’s okay, Daddy’s here. I’ve got you.” Phil soothed and stroked through Dan’s sweaty curls and Dan slowly let himself sink down further. Normally by now Dan didn’t take much adjusting whenever Phil fucked him but little Dan was obviously more tense and nervous and it made everything more like a first time again. Phil figured that in a way this was Dan’s first time, as a little that was. Dan bottomed out and Phil made sure to stroke his lower back calmingly and praise him. “You’re doing so well Baby, Daddy’s so proud of you.”

Dan sat entirely still for a while, lower lip trembling a little, tears stinging in his eyes. “Daddy you’re so big” he gasped almost inaudible. Phil kept stroking his back tenderly and leaned forward grabbing Dan’s face in his other hand, bringing it closer. Then he lovingly kissed Dan, trying to distract him. The kiss was innocent like the only other time he’d kissed little Dan, but soon desperation took over and Phil deepened the kiss, his tongue stroking inside Dan’s mouth eagerly. God, he loved kissing Dan so much! He often found himself wishing that he could kiss Dan outside of sex, but he never dared try it.

That thought dissipated quickly though, when Dan started moving, rolling his hips experimentally on top of him. Waves of pleasure shot through Phil and he had to fight the urge to push up violently into Dan’s tight heat. Sure, Dan usually liked it very rough these days, but he had to remember that this was little Dan. Apparently, though, little Dan had a lot in common with regular Dan and it didn’t take long before he was enthusiastically fucking himself on Phil’s cock.

“Jesus Christ, Baby you feel amazing!” gasped Phil, “You’re such a good boy. So perfect. Beautiful.” He was rambling now but how could he not, Dan was definitely a pro at this, little or not. Phil was not going to last long. But apparently neither was Dan. Dan was tugging violently at his own cock and Phil thought it looked almost painful, but then Dan just generally liked things to hurt a bit.

“Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! So good!” he chanted loudly and if Phil hadn’t been so far gone he might have worried about the neighbours hearing. “I’m gonn-“ Dan’s sentence was cut short as he came all over his own hand and stomach falling forwards into Phil’s arms. This prompted Phil to finally let go and thrust forcefully up into Dan. It took only a few firm trusts before he was coming hard, clinging onto Dan for dear life, teeth biting into his shoulder.

They kissed messily as they came down but finally Phil pulled out and discarded the condom. Dan whined at the loss and pouted. Phil couldn’t help laughing, and once he started he couldn’t stop. The release had made him giddy and everything felt perfect. Dan joined in after a while, probably catching Phil’s laughter like a contagious decease.

A few minutes later when they’d almost caught their breaths Dan lifted his head off Phil’s chest and looked him straight in the eye. “I slipped out of my little space when I came.” he laughed. Phil smiled and joined in and once again they were giggling stupidly, feeling light inside like they were filled with helium and floating on air.

Eventually the laughter died down and Phil could feel Dan drifting off on his chest. Suddenly he panicked. He knew that once Dan woke he’d be back to acting like nothing what so ever had happened and for some reason this was not what Phil wanted anymore. “Dan?” he whispered nervously.

“Hm?” Dan mumbled, nuzzling his face further into Phil’s chest. Phil steeled himself and finally spoke.

“Can we please talk about this?” he asked, bringing his hand up to bite nervously at the side of his thumb. Dan shuffled a little and finally sat up to look at Phil.

“Talk about what?” he asked but his demeanour was screaming ‘please let this go’. Phil couldn’t though. He had to talk about this or he’d burst. Phil moved into a sitting position as well, took a deep breath and started talking.

“Dan what does _this_ mean? Like, what are we? It feels weird that we never talk about it when we’re not… you know…” he trailed off trying to catch Dan’s eye. Dan was resolutely looking down at his own hands though and it was impossible to see what he was thinking.

“Do we have to be anything?” he finally answered with a question of his own. He sounded really uncomfortable and like he just wanted to bolt. In a way Phil felt surprised that Dan hadn’t escaped by now, it was usually his go to reaction when things got too difficult. Phil sighed.

“No Dan. I mean, I’m not asking you if we’re like a couple or anything. I just want to know where we stand… Like how do you feel?” Dan visibly cringed. He didn’t answer so Phil decided that the only way for him to know what Dan was thinking was to put himself out there. He really didn’t want to. He was terrified. But how could he expect Dan to be honest if he himself wasn’t.

“I…” Phil paused trying to work out how to best phrase this. He decided to just be very direct. “I really, _really_ like having sex with you. Like a lot. I love being your Daddy too when you need it. I really do. But I don’t like that it feels like… like we’re... Like we just switch into sex mode and then afterwards you fall asleep and when you wake you’ve switched right out of sex mode and we never mention it. It makes me feel really awkward and I never dare approach you first because I’m scared you’ll just… I dunno, reject me? Freak out? And also-” he paused here and took a deep breath, Dan stayed quiet but at least he was looking at Phil now even if he wasn’t making eye contact. “I find myself looking at you constantly and I just… I want to kiss you so bad like all the time but I don’t dare and… Like, I understand if you don’t feel that way, but I just really want to know where you stand. Where are your boundaries?” Dan was silent for a long time. Long enough that Phil almost got up and left the room. He felt too vulnerable and he couldn’t stand the silence. He’d bared himself entirely and it felt horrible to be met with _nothing_.

Suddenly Dan lunged forward and connected their lips. It was not soft, nor was it deep. It was just a hard press of soft lips against lips and it was like Dan was trying to convey something through the touch. Only Phil needed words. Dan must have sensed this cause he eventually pulled back and hesitantly made eye contact with Phil. Brown eyes met blue and the intensity of Dan’s gaze seemed to suck all the air out of the room.

“I’m in love with you.” Dan blurted. Phil’s eyes widened impossibly and he forgot how to breathe. The room was dead silent, even the always present hum of traffic seemed to have just stopped suddenly. Phil felt too stunned to say anything. Dan was in love with him? He had known that Dan loved him, as he loved Dan. But Dan was actually _in love_ with him. Phil’s heart was beating worryingly fast and he felt lightheaded. _Dan is in love with me!_ His mind kept screaming at him and he couldn’t seem to process it. Dan abruptly shuffled out of the bed and into a standing position. He looked horrified.

“And you’re not. And that’s… I’m just gonna-“ and then he turned and fled out the door. Phil could hear Dan’s door closing and being locked before he could even get his body to react.

He wanted to call out to Dan but a part of him knew that he needed to first work out exactly how he felt. Was he in love with Dan? He didn’t know. Like he’d told Dan, he really loved the things they did together, and he did want to kiss Dan constantly. And he had always loved when they cuddled. But was he in love? This was confusing and his mind still couldn’t stop shouting _Dan is in love with me_ on repeat and it was making it very hard to think.

\--

Phil had tried to fall asleep after the revelation figuring he could think about it the next day when he was rested, but he’d been unable to stop his mind from running and in the end he’d given in and started mulling it over excessively.

Once upon a time when Phil had first med Dan online, and especially when they met in person, Phil had fancied Dan like mad. He’d been almost unable to look at him without dying inside at how bad he wanted him. But Dan had never showed any interest in that way so eventually the crush died down and Phil just embraced their friendship. After all it was the most special thing in his life and he loved having Dan always by his side to share every moment and thought with. To laugh with. They did everything together, almost, and in a way they may as well already be a couple. These days they even had sex for God’s sake!

But how was Phil supposed to tell if he was in love with Dan now? It’s not like it was as it had been in the start. He didn’t feel overwhelmed by all overshadowing infatuation at all times. He did not see Dan as a perfect human with no flaws. No, Phil was well aware of Dan’s flaws and they would sometimes argue or snipe at each other, but they loved each other regardless of their flaws. So what did that mean?

Eventually after hours of these thoughts it occurred to Phil that maybe he should try looking at it from another angle. _Could he imagine a life without Dan?_ No, definitely not. But that could be as a friend too, right? _Did he want to ever live apart from Dan?_ No. Of course not! They worked so well together and Phil just didn’t know how life could ever be as good without his best friend by his side. They balanced each other out. _What if Dan fell out of love with him and in love with someone else? What if he moved out?_ Now, this was where the panic had set in for Phil, because he definitely did not enjoy any of those scenarios. He knew he’d be jealous if Dan put anyone before him, if anyone touched Dan like he did, if anyone else became Dan’s Daddy. Suddenly he had his answer.

He scrambled out of bed and ran to Dan’s door firmly banging against the wood. Dan didn’t react fast enough for Phil’s liking so he started pounding harder ignoring the fact that it was after 3 am and that their neighbours might not enjoy the loud noise. Eventually the door cracked open slightly and a sleepy, red eyed face appeared. Dan didn’t move to let him in, just stared at him through the tiny gap with an empty gaze. Phil however ignored this and started firmly pushing the door open. Dan had to jump out of the way to avoid getting caught by the door and his impassive face was quickly morphing into anger. This was not unexpected, Phil knew how Dan functioned. First he’d try to flee and hide; if that option failed he’d turn to anger. This was just how Dan worked.

“What the fuck do you want?” Dan barked out but Phil just ignored it and advanced upon him. He threw his arms around Dan and squeezed him tightly burrowing his face in Dan’s neck. Dan stood rigid for a while but then the shock and anger slowly seemed to drain from his body and he reached out his arms to encircle Phil’s waist, resting his head on top of Phil’s. They stood like that for a long while breathing each other in. Phil was basking in the feel of Dan and even though he knew he had to say something, he didn’t want to let go quite yet.

Eventually Dan was the first to speak.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, voice hoarse probably from crying earlier. Phil was confused enough that he stumbled back a step but his arms stayed firmly around Dan’s shoulders though. He searched out Dan’s eyes and locked their gazes.

“Wha- Why are you sorry?” he asked perplexedly a light frown furrowing his brow. Dan looked down.

“I… I’m sorry I’m in love with you. I’m sorry I made things weird. But I promise it doesn’t have to change anything, I’ll just get over it and-” Phil cut him off with a kiss. The exact same kind of kiss as Dan had initiated earlier; lips firmly against each other trying to convey everything in one kiss. But mostly Phil had just wanted to stop him from saying any more; he couldn’t bear to listen to Dan put the blame on himself like that. As soon as he pulled away from the kiss he instantly spoke.

“Dan you didn’t do anything wrong. No matter what I’ll never leave you, but…” he trailed off suddenly terrified of continuing. This felt monumental. _The point of no return._ Dan’s face fell and he started pulling away from Phil, and Phil suddenly realised his mistake. _It’s now or never._

“I, I think I’m in love with you too Dan” he blurted and quickly continued “I, when we first met I had the biggest crush on you. Like you can’t even imagine how much I fancied you, I was madly infatuated with you. But you weren’t gay or bi, or at least you didn’t admit it and I just figured that it’d never happen and eventually I got over it. Or I thought I’d got over it but… But I think that maybe I never did, maybe it just kind of morphed into something else, like a quieter love of sorts. ” Phil tried to catch Dan’s eye again as he said this, and he reached out for Dan’s hands. They were shaking and Phil calmingly ran his thumbs over the back of them. Dan stayed quiet but as he finally looked up at Phil again his eyes were big and hopeful and it gave Phil the courage he needed to continue.

“I can’t imagine my life without you Dan; I don’t want to even imagine a day where you and I aren’t a team. And if you want to then… Well, then I’d like to give us a go?” There, he’d said it and now the ball was in Dan’s court. Phil took a deep breath and waited.

_And waited._

Finally Dan did speak, a timid “I…”followed by more silence. Their eyes were still locked though and Phil could see the wheels turning in Dan’s mind. He didn’t mind waiting for Dan’s reply even if it was excruciating not knowing what he’d answer. Sure Dan loved Phil, Phil knew that. And he was _in love_ with Phil. But that didn’t necessarily mean that he’d want to be a proper couple with him, did it?

Dan eventually pulled his hands out of Phil’s grasp and lounged himself forward. Phil barely had time to see Dan’s happy grin before Dan was jumping onto him making them both stumble backwards. Luckily the bed caught them as they fell but Phil still had the breath knocked out of him. Dan sat up on top of Phil and his beaming face was so pure and beautiful that an exhilarating thrill ran through Phil’s entire body. He smiled back up at Dan, how could he not when Dan looked so ecstatic.

“Phil, I want that.” Dan’s smile dimmed a bit as he tried to convey his sincerity “I _really_ want that.”

“But?” Phil asked a frown making it unto his face. Dan laughed. He actually laughed.

“No but, you absolute pillock!” Dan swatted half-heartedly at Phil’s chest the joyful grin returning full force. “I want us to be a couple too.” The smile once again morphed into a more earnest, serious look but Phil could still feel the happiness radiating from Dan and he basked in the warmth of it.

“Good.” Phil said stupidly.

“Good.” Dan mirrored in the same tone and they both broke into happy giggles. Eventually the giggles died down and the atmosphere in the room changed. You could cut the tension with a knife and suddenly Phil was very aware of Dan’s weight on top of him. It wasn’t like they hadn’t done everything already, pretty much, but somehow this felt different. This was something else. Everything was out in the open now and they were both vulnerable and exposed in a way they never had been before. Dan leaned down at the same time as Phil reached up to pull him in and their lips met.

A surge went through Phil’s belly and he almost had to pull away again to catch his breath. This was overwhelming. Why did it feel like this? They’d kissed often during sex. After sex. But this, this was unhurried and beautiful and Dan was licking into his mouth slowly and carefully, slick tongue sliding over his own, sending thrills through his whole body. This, this meant something.

\--

Next morning Phil woke up naked tangled with Dan in Dan’s bed. He smiled at the soft, sleeping form beside him and snuggled closer. He felt happy, ecstatic.

They’d ended up having sex the night before, but it had been different than all the other times. There’d been no dirty talk, no Daddy or choking or roughness. It wasn’t that he didn’t love those things, cause God, he so did! But this slow unhurried, for lack of a better word, lovemaking, had felt overwhelmingly intense. They’d held eye contact almost during the whole time and Phil had never felt closer to another human being before.

Even though Phil was relaxed and happy, a part of him still felt scared of what would happen when Dan woke up. Sure they’d agreed to give this a go now and they’d whispered sweet _I love you_ ’s many times the night before, but Phil had grown accustomed to Dan ignoring everything the next morning. It was like Pavlov’s dog, he couldn’t fight what he’d been inured to think.

Just then Dan shifted, a contended sigh escaping his lips as he cuddled into Phil’s side. His eyes slowly opened and he smiled up at Phil.

“Hey Gorgeous.” Dan said voice sleep-roughened and all Phil’s fears and doubts vanished like dew in the morning sun. He beamed back at Dan and reached up to play with one of Dan’s curls.

“Hello Pretty.” Phil answered and suddenly everything clicked. This was how it was meant to be. They were together, a team against the world. Come what may, they’d figure it out together.

\--

Fin.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Phanfic and my second fanfiction ever (my first one was written more than 10 years ago and must never be seen again by human eyes!)  
> I hope you enjoyed it and feel free to leave a comment I'd love to know what you think!  
> I didn't end up getting this work beta read so there's probably some annoying mistakes but please bear with me, writing is new for me and English is not my first language.  
> I want to thank my trash #2 (hey-you598 on tumblr) for supporting and encouraging me throughout writing this! Without you it would never have been finished!  
> Thanks for reading ;)


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